Winner Best Local Blog, Best of Portland Maine Awards 2007 and nominee for Best Local Blog in 2008.
The Phoenix says, "He writes about what's on his mind, familiarly, intelligently and with passion. His best writing is about his connections with his family and friends. A June 16, 2006, posting about his father stands in poignant contrast to a heartbreaking posting from March 5, 2007 about his relationship with his siblings. His is what a blog should be."
Personally, the last 10 years have been pretty great for me, but it's no secret that the 2000's haven't been the greatest for our country. I know a lot of people think Obama arrived on a big white horse and will save us all, but I'll just say that so far I'm not all that impressed with him. I'll leave it at that.
2009 was a good year for me. I'm thriving in life and I love my job. My 41st birthday ended my first year of milestones without my mother. This was the first year in about 7 years that I was able to make it back to Arizona for Thanksgiving. I not only got to see my family, meet my new niece and actually relax, but I found time to get back to Parker and reconnect with people I hadn't seen in 25 years. And you know what? It certainly didn't feel as though 25 years had passed since I had seen them last as a teenager. It was great to see that my childhood friends had grown into such wonderful adults. A natural progression I guess.
In 2010, I'm looking forward to a change at work. I am going to be working as the compliance monitor for the state of Connecticut. Which is a big, but very welcomed change for me. I'm looking forward to taking a vacation for the first time in a few years. It will be this winter and it will be someplace nice and warm. I'm also looking forward to watching Aimee and Leonard FINALLY tie the knot in LA in May. They've been together since 1993. They were very good friends of mine at The Theatre School in Chicago, where we all attended college.
As always, 2009 saw us all lose people we cared about and some we idolized. I think the two celebrity deaths that shook me the most were Farrah Fawcett and Brittany Murphy. I was a big fan of both of them and I was just blindsided by both of their deaths. Unfortunately, I wasn't all that surprised by Michael Jackson's death. It's tragic nonetheless, but not all that surprising. It's a sad state of affairs when regular Americans struggle to get the prescription meds they need but celebrities are able to commandeer all the meds they want and they, nor their doctors, are ever held accountable. And for this reason, Michael Jackson is dead.
So, to everyone, have a wonderful holiday season. If you celebrate Christmas, wish me "Merry Christmas!" If you celebrate Hannukah, wish me "Happy Hanukkah!" If you celebrate the solstice....well you get the idea. Wish me well. May you all enjoy the holiday season and keep your hearts full of love and light. May 2010 bring you love, light and laughter! Merry Christmas!
I was perusing the "Free" section of Craigslist when I came across an ad for a 70's Retro Console Stereo. I was immediately taken back to my childhood in Bloomington Illinois. My parents had one and I used to love playing albums on it and wedging myself between the wall and the side speaker. I loved it. We moved a few times when I was growing up and then my parents got divorced in my 20's. I don't have any family heirlooms, nor do I even have anything of my mother's after she passed. I had always wished to have kept or been giving something to remind me of my childhood. Well I found it on Craigslist. It's not the one we had, but it's very similar. I can't even tell you how much I love it. It has a few problems, but my self-proclaimed tech-nerd bud Steve is going to fix it. When he's done, the radio, speakers and (possibly) turntable should be fully operational again. I can already hook up my iPod to it. Here's a picture of it in my room.
I haven't really had time to develop my online magazine that will replace my blog, so I'm going to keep writing here. One big change to my blog is that I've gone through it and replaced all my Madonna-centric entries. Many of you know that I was a huge and somewhat psycho fan for 26 years. It's frightening to think how much of my energy, time and money I devoted to being a big fan, but my adoration has completely faded. It was like someone pulled the curtain back and I saw the man operating the wizard in Emerald City. I actually feel foolish for being such a devoted fan for so long. To say I'm no longer enamored with her is an understatement, however, I won't elaborate. Having been one of her rabid fans, I know how viciously they defend her and I don't care enough about her or even why I no longer like her to argue with anyone. So if you're a big fan, good for you, but don't leave nasty comments on here because they won't be published. I'm not giving her anymore of my creative energy on here. I'm not promoting her with good or bad press. I'm just done with her. If you happen to find a Madonna-centric entry I missed let me know and I will delete it. .
Stay tuned for more posts. Birthday #41 is just a week and a half away!
Once I figure out how to format it, my blog is going to change. Instead of random posts, I'm going to actually put together a monthly mini-magazine. This way I can do more than just post my thoughts. I can interview/profile notable people, discuss issues, post reviews and even allow others to contribute. I will even have a section posting some of my creative writing projects. Stay tuned as I work out the format. The first issue will interview new Polarity Therapist Aaron Williams and then will chronicle my series of polarity sessions with him. I've also got a few other things on tap.
This blog has been a big help for me. Therapy in a way. Now it's time to take it to the next level. Times are a changin' and I want to contribute on a bigger level. It's time use my creative writing skills to do more than further my own agenda. It's time to use those skills to shine the spotlight on other people. You'll still get my rants in the "Soap Box" section, but I'll give equal time to the people I profile.
As always thank you for being loyal readers and thank you for being patient.
Way back in the 80's when I was a senior in high school, I was reading a magazine and I came across an image of two skeletons kissing in front of a mushroom cloud. Their skin had been burned off by the blast. I was so struck by this image that I cut it out and put it in a scrab book I kept of different evocative images I stumbled across. Little did I know it was from the graphic novel "The Watchmen."
20-some years later, I watched the film "The Watchmen" based on that graphic novel. I was kind of blown away by the movie scene of the nuclear kiss. I don't know if the movie is based on a storyline from the graphic novel or if it's just the characters, but the plot of this movie was rather interesting. I am still reserving my opinion of the overall movie, but the storyline did intrigue me.
(****SPOILER ALERT*****)
Basically, a former super hero devises a plan to set off a huge explosion in downtown NYC in 1985 as the USA and Russia are at a nuclear stand off. Immediately following the explosion the two countries find out that it was not a nuclear strike from either country, but an explosion set off by a former and jaded super hero. The two countries immediately call a truce. Within minutes the Earth is one planet and one population. One. United. Holding hands and singing songs. Little beknownst to the citizens of earth, this plot was hatched by a former super hero who used it as a way to save the majority of the planet. Had he not intervened, we would have surely gone to war with Russia and most of the earth's population would have been wiped out. It would change the very climate and nature of our planet. It would reshape the land and the oceans and almost every living thing on this planet would eventually die. So, he killed a few million people in downtown NYC which in turn prevented a nuclear war, saved billions of lives and the world came together as one in it's wake. Unknowingly saving itself. And these heroes believe this will save the world.
I don't think the characters in the movie realize that their plan will only be a temporary fix. Sure, we will all join hands and sing our songs. The rest of the world will reach out to us in kindness and genuine sorrow. People will cry with each other in the streets in the smallest corners of the world. It will make us feel small and weak yet empowered to no end. It will makes us become strong in spirit and form a united front. We will not let this event shake the foundation of our world. We will stand strong. And then it will become yesterday's news. Tsunamis will hit, earth quakes will bury cities, hurricanes will ravage the south. And with each new disaster, we grow more ambivalent to it all. The loss of life that broke our very hearts that one day will no longer even affect us. As a matter of fact, we will be more affected by the death of any one celebrity than we will be by the tens of thousands of people who die from AIDS in Africa in a single week.
This movie intrigued me. This movie would have scared me as much as the movie"The Day After" if I it had come out in the 80's. Back then, I was terrified that we'd all die in a nuclear war. If this is based on a storyline from the graphic novel in the 80's, then it was beyond prophetic. If it was a story created just for this film, than it's a pretty amazing comment on society. As one of the main characters says, "I can change many things, but one thing I cannot change is human nature." Can we? I guess there's only one way to find out.
Once again, I'm taking to my blog to encourage everyone to make one change in your life that will help you be a better person. I will do the same. Make an effort to put good energy out into the universe. Wouldn't it be nice if collective acts of goodwill woke us up and united us as one rather than some big random disaster that kills thousands of people? Think about it.
You'll find out soon enough why the above picture does not exactly match the story. It would match if the two boys were playing Space Invaders instead of fishing.
When I was a little kid in Parker Arizona, "quality time" with Dad always began with the same sentence, "C'mon boys, put your fishin' poles in the truck." My brother Mike and I would exchange glances because we knew we were either in for a super fun day or one that could be equated to torture. Let me explain.
If my Dad, did indeed intend on taking us fishing, it meant a day one could compare to torture. Here's why. First we'd stop at PDQ (the corner mini-mart) and he'd say, "Get yourself something to drink." Which meant we'd each get a Coke or something and he'd get a 12 pack of Coors Light. I know, it's hardly fair. Then we'd grab some bait and head down to a cove on the river somewhere. A day fishing with Dad meant tow things, hours in the hot sun and not being able to say a word. Because it would scare the fish. Okay Dad, if you say so. Last I read fish don't have ears. Those days seemed to go on forever. I swear I could feel myself age while sitting there by the river as my skin burned off my body. Okay, so I'm exaggerating a little bit, but it was B-O-R-I-N-G. I give the man credit for trying, but quality time should actually involve interaction and conversation. Which was tough for my dad who was a man of few words. He never believed in talking for the sake of talking. You talked when you had something to say. Coming home from one of our fishing excursions was like heaven. We rarely caught any fish and when we did, Dad would clean them, cook them and eat them. We never partook in the meal part of the day. But coming home we'd walk into the air conditioned house just exhausted from the heat. Mom surely knew how grueling it was for us to sit in complete silence in the desert sun for a few hours with my Dad because she always told us we could go next door to the A&W and get dinnger. Man, I still dream about that food. So this is the one result of my Dad saying, "Boys put your fishin' polls in the truck." You'd think we'd just say we didn't want to go and let him off the hook, so to speak--pun intended--but the second result of his saying that had a much better result and it was what we always hoped for.
We would get in the truck and then dad would back out onto the four lane highway we lived on. And we get to the one stop light in town. When the light turned green, he would make a left. If he didn't make an immediate right into the PDQ Market we were in luck. He'd continue past heading down to the river portion of town. We'd climb that huge hill and then crest the top and at the very bottom of the hill was a very odd place. I can't remember the name of it, but in the fictional book I'm writing about a kid growing up in Parker Arizona in the 70's and 80's, I call it "3 B's." When you walk in the door, the first thing you see is a counter and a sign with the different kinds of bait listed on it. The first B. When you look to your left, you see a small room at the end with a barber chair in it. The second B. But if you went to your right through the doorway next to the counter, you went into a bar. The third B. Upon arriving at the bar, the bartender would greet the hree of us by name, then my dad would give us a roll of quarters, 2 Roy Rogers and send us on our way. We'd play Space Invaders, Tempest, pool, pinball and about a thousand songs on the jukebox. By the end of the day and five Roy Rogers later, we'd head home. We were always so happy having just had such a good time. Even though we didn't spend any time with Dad at the bar, we just liked him so much those days and had so much fun being his sons. He'd call us over to him every now and then and have us say hi to his friends or introduce us to new friends. We were always the only two kids in there and we had a great time.
On one particular trip, while driving home, it occurred to me that my mother may very well ask about our "fishing trip." I turned to my Dad very anxiously and said, "Dad, what do we tell Mom?"
"What do you mean?" he asked, "Tell your Mom what?"
"If she asks if we caught any fish. What do we tell her?"
"Well...." he said, "did you catch any fish today?"
"No, obviously."
"Well, there ya go," he said. "There's your answer."
"What do you mean Dad?"
"You don't have to go fishing to not catch any fish."
I think that is one of the most brilliant things that he ever said. It has the ring of an old proverb, but it means nothing more that what it says. Simple yet brilliant. I really want to have a silk-screed shirt made out of this saying.
Years later, I remember that day as if it was yesterday. The truth is, I always thought my dad was old, but he was propably 6-8 years younger than I am now when he said this. I'm amazed at what my dad achieved in his life by the time he was 40. He had four good kids, he owned his own house and business, had a wife, two cars and a ski boat. He took good care of us all, made sure he had some fun in life, but remained focused on being good people, getting good grades and being positive members in our community. It's probably why so many people liked him. He was and still is one of my favorite people on the planet. I can't wait to see him this Thanksgiving.
I have to type this quickly because I have to get to work, but it's important that I document last night's dream. It doesn't make sense geographically, but what dreams do?
So I was on a dock/pier by the water here in Portland Maine talking to my cousin Jen who was visiting from Chicago. This pier was connected to the Holiday Inn by the Bay here in Portland. (Note: the Holiday Inn by the Bay isn't close enough to the water by any means to have a pier or dock, but that's how dreams go.) Well, out on the water we noticed something peculiar. A white power boat seemed to pop out of the water from a wave. We couldn't tell if it had been there before and the way the wave came in it just looked like it popped out. But something was very odd and it kept our attention. Then I noticed the boat was coming towards us.
I said, "Holy crap, it's off its mooring and it's going to slam into the pier!"
Jen said, "There's someone on it."
We saw someone start to sit up looking dazed. I started to say her name and she said, "Run. It's coming. Run."
"What's coming?"
"The wave."
I looked at her puzzled and then I noticed on the horizon was something gray that looked like a distant fog back only I could tell it was coming towards us pretty quickly. It was a Tsunami. Fear gripped me as I grabbed my cousin's hand and turned around and started running up the big cement stairway up to the hotel. We got to the top of the stairs when the first wave hit and it barely got up that far. I thought we were in the clear and I turned around and saw a much bigger one coming. We ran into the hotel and started screaming at everyone and then we were all running up the stairs.
In my dream two more big waves hit, but we had made it to the top floor of the hotel. I remember in the dream trying to call Russ, but you couldn't get through to anyone. I shook myself awake and was completely blown away by how real it seemed.
A lot of people who know me, know I have some pretty realistic and crazy dreams. I even had a very eerie and peculiar dream the Friday night before 9/11 that dealt with a very similar situation as what happened on 9/11. Luckily, I told enough people about it the weekend before 9/11 that when it did happen, people who had heard about it were a tad bit freaked out. Anyway, I just wanted to document this.
I love good music, I enjoy my life. I enjoy being happy. I think it's important to be the best person you can be to help make the world a better place. I'm a graphic artist, photographer, writer and DJ in my spare time. I'm also a Desert Storm Veteran. I'm fascinated with books and movies about war.
